This is happening, people. I know, I know. It’s terribly trite and everyone makes one, but goldarn it, I’m thankful for stuff! I’ll try to keep my list short as you’re probably busy scouring the Internet for a super innovative – yet not inedible – cranberry sauce recipe (hint: it doesn’t exist). Now then...
1. Really thankful I don’t have any weird moles. I once worked with someone who discovered a weird mole on his ear. Next thing I knew – DEAD. He died in fatal car accident, but when he was alive his mole really stressed me out.
2. Thankful for my new sneakers. I love them, sure. They’re the cutest sneakers ever. But what they really are is a beacon of victory for consumers everywhere. $65 on Amazon (LOL, Amazon. You clearly don’t know who you’re dealing with here); $19.99 at the local shoe warehouse. SUCK IT, AMAZON. You are…loooosah.
3. Thankful for fabric glue. I may never have to sew again.
4. Very, very grateful for leafy greens, beans, whole grains, et al. Thanks to a high fiber diet, I can eat butter whole sticks at a time and not have to worry about that pesky high cholesterol business. That’s what I got out of the research anyway.
5. Who wants to wash dishes? I don’t. And for this, I thank you, cast iron skillets.
I'm thankful for all of the really good stuff, too. I basically hit the jackpot in the loved-ones department, a few of whom gave me some pretty sweet heritable material to work with. I'm healthy (see item #4, above). I'm housed, clothed, and employed. I’m free – to vote, to learn, to drive, to speak (You are welcome!). I’m happy.
Wishing you happiness, this Thanksgiving and ever after.
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